| You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy) |
 You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer. |
Sunday, November 20, 2005
oh great. I'll just eat Kraft Dinner...
not entirely true...
| You are Agnostic |
 You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you. |
musings while driving today
I got into the car and turned on the radio just in time to hear The Vinyl Cafe, and I smilled and thought, 'alllll right!' when I heard Stuart McLean's voice.
I love getting into the car when my fave radio shows are on.
However, Stuart McLean's voice was saying goodbye until next week. So I was all, 'bummer'.
And then, after the news, they introduced Wiretap. That is totally even better than the Vinyl Cafe, so I ended up driving past Safeway and into some residential area just so I could listen to it.
I laughed myself stupid. I recommend it (the show...and laughing yourself stupid).
...
When I don't feel like listening to what's on CBC at that moment, i surf other radio stations. WTF? Why does almost every other radio station in Calgary suck? There is NOTHING good to listen to...'cept CJSW and sometimes they're stinky, too.
...
Was thinking about my typology class and how I found a language atlas at a bookstore yesterday. Typology is a type of linguistics where you look at features in a language and compare them with the other languages in the world. You find that of all the possibilities, really most languages fall within only a few of them.
Anyway...I won't get into it.
The guy who started it was named Greenberg who wrote this paper in 1966 that turned the linguistic world on its ear! *echo*
In it he wrote 45 'universals', which is to say he studied a bunch of languages, compared them and found out 45 things that always or usually happen. And they're written like this:
Universal #5: If a language has dominant SOV word order and the genitive follows the governing noun, then the adjective likewise follows the noun.
(Which just means that if the word order of a language (like Japanese) is subject, object, verb and if you use a possessive phrase (John's car) the possessing thing (John) is after the noun in possesses (car John's) then an adjective (black car) will also follow the noun it's modifying (car black). If you care.)
This is an awful long setup for a stupid joke that made me laugh in the car...but Rush was on one of the stations.
Himbly's universal #1: If a person's genetic code (for gender) is XX and if their country of origin is Canada then, with greater than chance frequency, that person will dislike Rush.
...
Good lord. I got nothing these days.
I love getting into the car when my fave radio shows are on.
However, Stuart McLean's voice was saying goodbye until next week. So I was all, 'bummer'.
And then, after the news, they introduced Wiretap. That is totally even better than the Vinyl Cafe, so I ended up driving past Safeway and into some residential area just so I could listen to it.
I laughed myself stupid. I recommend it (the show...and laughing yourself stupid).
...
When I don't feel like listening to what's on CBC at that moment, i surf other radio stations. WTF? Why does almost every other radio station in Calgary suck? There is NOTHING good to listen to...'cept CJSW and sometimes they're stinky, too.
...
Was thinking about my typology class and how I found a language atlas at a bookstore yesterday. Typology is a type of linguistics where you look at features in a language and compare them with the other languages in the world. You find that of all the possibilities, really most languages fall within only a few of them.
Anyway...I won't get into it.
The guy who started it was named Greenberg who wrote this paper in 1966 that turned the linguistic world on its ear! *echo*
In it he wrote 45 'universals', which is to say he studied a bunch of languages, compared them and found out 45 things that always or usually happen. And they're written like this:
Universal #5: If a language has dominant SOV word order and the genitive follows the governing noun, then the adjective likewise follows the noun.
(Which just means that if the word order of a language (like Japanese) is subject, object, verb and if you use a possessive phrase (John's car) the possessing thing (John) is after the noun in possesses (car John's) then an adjective (black car) will also follow the noun it's modifying (car black). If you care.)
This is an awful long setup for a stupid joke that made me laugh in the car...but Rush was on one of the stations.
Himbly's universal #1: If a person's genetic code (for gender) is XX and if their country of origin is Canada then, with greater than chance frequency, that person will dislike Rush.
...
Good lord. I got nothing these days.
Friday, November 18, 2005
yeah, 'cept I'm not taking phonetics this semester...
I still can't sleep.
I'm not even tired. I go to bed late, wake up early, and aside from an unpleasant and tired hour or two in the morning, I'm okay.
I finished my paper and handed it in.
But...when we handed it in she told us if we wanted it back until Monday, it was fine with her.
I turned the offer down. I didn't want to look at it again.
But now I'm wanting to read it over (it's still on my computer) but I'm scared that I'm going to decide everything's wrong and I need to redo the whole thing.
"...and my inner voice is saying, "Don't go."..."
--aww..heck. I'm trying to quote Best In Show but I don't remember how it goes.
Anyway...I'm listening to my inner 'fraidy-cat voice 'cause I was quite chuffed with myself earlier when I thought I at least knew what I was writing about in this last paper. Now that I've had time to think about it, my inner critic voice is yelling, "Fool! You don't know the first thing about ergativity in Kalaallisut!"
But, right now, I wouldn't trade this for anything.
I am so happy right now to be going back to school and studying stuff I care about.
The problem with linguistics is that you fall in love with every language you research. I've been working on Kalaallisut since September now, I've looked at its word order, morphology, how it modifies its nouns and where it puts its possessors. I've tried to prove that it's ergative (or not in a small group of nouns), that it's polysynthetic, and that it's highly fusional. Oh, and certainly not least, I've researched its speakers...where they live, how, how many, how commited they are to keeping Kalaallisut alive (real committed, btw)...
And I know almost nothing about this language. Seriously.
There's so much.
I don't know how the writers of grammars do it, frankly. The guy that wrote mine had to spend...I don't even know how long in West Greenland recording data. Then he comes home (or stays there...I don't know) and writes a book based on his findings.
I don't think I've ever read so many sentences about ptarmigan, sled dogs and polar bears in all my life.
Oh...and did you know that the Kalaallisut word for 'polar bear' is nanuq? Oh...and that Kalaallisut is a very close relative to Canadian Inuit dialects?
[q] is phonetic for a voiceless uvular stop. In other words...if you make a k sound, you feel the back of your tongue touching the back of your palate..the soft part...the velum? Your uvula is the dinger donger in the back of your throat. Now, try to get the back of your tongue to touch that and try the k sound again. If you can do it, you make a [q].
(I still remember the day we learned this in phonetics..all of us trying to make the [q] sound with our prof excitedly yelling, 'Further back! Further back! You! (pointing) Try it! Further back!')
So...since English speakers don't make that sound, we use [k] to replace it. So, when people say Nanuk of the North...it actually means polar bear.
Neat, huh?
Anyway...to all those that think linguistics is easy, I say this:
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
And since this is my blog and I've been reading a lot of bloggers lately saying, "this is my blog, I'll write what I want"...Ima write what I want.
'cause that's just how this bi-atch rolls.
And what I want is to write this (so prolly best to skip it):
I've never worked with a language like this before. There is so much morphology (prefixes, suffixes, infixes) going on and I used to hate studying morphology...so it totally effed me up at first. But now, g-damn if I don't think that it's the coolest thing ever that you can incorporate a verb into your noun and keep going.
That means a whole sentence ~can~ be said in one word. Not always, but it can be done without it being weird to anyone speaking or listening.
Isn't that cool?
Like you can say the word "aqissirniarput" and it means "They are hunting ptarmigan"
...
(told ya so about the ptarmigan and stuff)
...
because it's actually one noun with two suffixes: aqissir-niar-put (ptarmigan-hunt-3rd person plural). A suffix just like in English when we say accomplish-ment-s (accomplish (verb) - ment (makes it a noun) - s (plural)). 'Cept, instead of the middle affix meaning 'make a noun/verb' it is a verb.
The 3rd person plural at the end is a bit of a different story but I won't get into it here. Probably no one is reading this anymore -if they even started.
Anyway..that's just a small thing I had to get off my chest. Linguistics is so effing neat. I didn't realize how much I missed it.
Oh dear. I've got to get to bed.
I'm not even tired. I go to bed late, wake up early, and aside from an unpleasant and tired hour or two in the morning, I'm okay.
I finished my paper and handed it in.
But...when we handed it in she told us if we wanted it back until Monday, it was fine with her.
I turned the offer down. I didn't want to look at it again.
But now I'm wanting to read it over (it's still on my computer) but I'm scared that I'm going to decide everything's wrong and I need to redo the whole thing.
"...and my inner voice is saying, "Don't go."..."
--aww..heck. I'm trying to quote Best In Show but I don't remember how it goes.
Anyway...I'm listening to my inner 'fraidy-cat voice 'cause I was quite chuffed with myself earlier when I thought I at least knew what I was writing about in this last paper. Now that I've had time to think about it, my inner critic voice is yelling, "Fool! You don't know the first thing about ergativity in Kalaallisut!"
But, right now, I wouldn't trade this for anything.
I am so happy right now to be going back to school and studying stuff I care about.
The problem with linguistics is that you fall in love with every language you research. I've been working on Kalaallisut since September now, I've looked at its word order, morphology, how it modifies its nouns and where it puts its possessors. I've tried to prove that it's ergative (or not in a small group of nouns), that it's polysynthetic, and that it's highly fusional. Oh, and certainly not least, I've researched its speakers...where they live, how, how many, how commited they are to keeping Kalaallisut alive (real committed, btw)...
And I know almost nothing about this language. Seriously.
There's so much.
I don't know how the writers of grammars do it, frankly. The guy that wrote mine had to spend...I don't even know how long in West Greenland recording data. Then he comes home (or stays there...I don't know) and writes a book based on his findings.
I don't think I've ever read so many sentences about ptarmigan, sled dogs and polar bears in all my life.
Oh...and did you know that the Kalaallisut word for 'polar bear' is nanuq? Oh...and that Kalaallisut is a very close relative to Canadian Inuit dialects?
[q] is phonetic for a voiceless uvular stop. In other words...if you make a k sound, you feel the back of your tongue touching the back of your palate..the soft part...the velum? Your uvula is the dinger donger in the back of your throat. Now, try to get the back of your tongue to touch that and try the k sound again. If you can do it, you make a [q].
(I still remember the day we learned this in phonetics..all of us trying to make the [q] sound with our prof excitedly yelling, 'Further back! Further back! You! (pointing) Try it! Further back!')
So...since English speakers don't make that sound, we use [k] to replace it. So, when people say Nanuk of the North...it actually means polar bear.
Neat, huh?
Anyway...to all those that think linguistics is easy, I say this:
Up your nose with a rubber hose.
And since this is my blog and I've been reading a lot of bloggers lately saying, "this is my blog, I'll write what I want"...Ima write what I want.
'cause that's just how this bi-atch rolls.
And what I want is to write this (so prolly best to skip it):
I've never worked with a language like this before. There is so much morphology (prefixes, suffixes, infixes) going on and I used to hate studying morphology...so it totally effed me up at first. But now, g-damn if I don't think that it's the coolest thing ever that you can incorporate a verb into your noun and keep going.
That means a whole sentence ~can~ be said in one word. Not always, but it can be done without it being weird to anyone speaking or listening.
Isn't that cool?
Like you can say the word "aqissirniarput" and it means "They are hunting ptarmigan"
...
(told ya so about the ptarmigan and stuff)
...
because it's actually one noun with two suffixes: aqissir-niar-put (ptarmigan-hunt-3rd person plural). A suffix just like in English when we say accomplish-ment-s (accomplish (verb) - ment (makes it a noun) - s (plural)). 'Cept, instead of the middle affix meaning 'make a noun/verb' it is a verb.
The 3rd person plural at the end is a bit of a different story but I won't get into it here. Probably no one is reading this anymore -if they even started.
Anyway..that's just a small thing I had to get off my chest. Linguistics is so effing neat. I didn't realize how much I missed it.
Oh dear. I've got to get to bed.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
pwned
I'm outing Black Mana.
If Black Mana was a warlock...
if he had a horse...
if he was level 60...
if he was...uh....human?
This is what he'd look like.
Well, ~I'm~ proud of him and his awesome looking dreadsteed.
w00t!
/grats blackmana
If Black Mana was a warlock...
if he had a horse...
if he was level 60...
if he was...uh....human?
This is what he'd look like.
Well, ~I'm~ proud of him and his awesome looking dreadsteed.
w00t!
/grats blackmana
well, not exactly...
I'm done.
I've finished another paper on W.Greenlandic and I'm thinking it's much better than the last.
Whew.
The last few days I've not been able to sleep until late, and then I've had the most crazy, effed up dreams.
wish I could remember some.
So, running on little sleep lately but not feeling tired. Until the morning. The morning eats bags of dick.
But I'm finished that g-damn paper and this time...this time....I think I even knew what I was talking about. In about a week or two I'll find out I totally didn't...but shut up. Let me ride this post paper happy balloon.
Lots of stuff I feel like complaining about, but I'll save it for another day.
Love, himbly
I've finished another paper on W.Greenlandic and I'm thinking it's much better than the last.
Whew.
The last few days I've not been able to sleep until late, and then I've had the most crazy, effed up dreams.
wish I could remember some.
So, running on little sleep lately but not feeling tired. Until the morning. The morning eats bags of dick.
But I'm finished that g-damn paper and this time...this time....I think I even knew what I was talking about. In about a week or two I'll find out I totally didn't...but shut up. Let me ride this post paper happy balloon.
Lots of stuff I feel like complaining about, but I'll save it for another day.
Love, himbly
Saturday, November 12, 2005
on the wagon
Well...
that's it.
Cake's gone. It's Saturday eve and the last night I'll have sweets.
Back in the 'sugar-is-the-sweet-sweet-devil' saddle again.
*sigh*...it's gonna take a lot of soy smoothies to wipe the taste of homemade blackforest cake from my memory.
excuse me...
I...I...I think there's something in my eye...
that's it.
Cake's gone. It's Saturday eve and the last night I'll have sweets.
Back in the 'sugar-is-the-sweet-sweet-devil' saddle again.
*sigh*...it's gonna take a lot of soy smoothies to wipe the taste of homemade blackforest cake from my memory.
excuse me...
I...I...I think there's something in my eye...
Thursday, November 10, 2005
thirty three
One of my dearest friends, Ivana, wrote me this yesterday:
...you've now lived as long as Jesus and are divisible by 11!!!
Oh my god.
She's right on both counts.
But Jesus died at 33.
Gosh.
Now I need to find someone else to model my life on.
...you've now lived as long as Jesus and are divisible by 11!!!
Oh my god.
She's right on both counts.
But Jesus died at 33.
Gosh.
Now I need to find someone else to model my life on.
chubby girl
*burp*
I've had left over birthday cake 3 times today.
I haven't eaten sweets for 4 months, but I relaxed the rule until Sunday. I'm on a sugar kick that'll rot my teeth and frenzy my brain.
...and how...
yee haw!
I ate so much yesterday that, aside from my b-cake breakfast, I've only been able to eat salads. Dad took me out for lunch, Mum made me dinner (and said cake).
I'm spoilt.
Only child.
Full only child.
That picture....that's me naked.
I've had left over birthday cake 3 times today.
I haven't eaten sweets for 4 months, but I relaxed the rule until Sunday. I'm on a sugar kick that'll rot my teeth and frenzy my brain.
...and how...
yee haw!
I ate so much yesterday that, aside from my b-cake breakfast, I've only been able to eat salads. Dad took me out for lunch, Mum made me dinner (and said cake).
I'm spoilt.
Only child.
Full only child.
That picture....that's me naked.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
bummer
Ever have those days when you're gripped in self-doubt?
When you answer a question wrong in class because you were confused and nervous talking in front of people, but it's a question on something you're supposed to be the class "expert" in so it nags at you all day long and then you start to see your future go down the tubes and you become paralyzed that maybe you're actually quite mediocre and what are you doing making such a giant change in your life anyway?
Yeah...me too.
ugh.
When you answer a question wrong in class because you were confused and nervous talking in front of people, but it's a question on something you're supposed to be the class "expert" in so it nags at you all day long and then you start to see your future go down the tubes and you become paralyzed that maybe you're actually quite mediocre and what are you doing making such a giant change in your life anyway?
Yeah...me too.
ugh.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
The question mark stands for "what else?"
I said I'd make dinner tonight.
So, when I got back from my grocery trip (I've never been good at making magic from whatever's left in the fridge) I peeked my head around the door and said,
"Who wants a snacky dinner?"
"Me!", we both yelled!
Then, "Hurrah!"
So, I handed him a bowl of Kettle Chips (Chipotle BBQ) and told him to wait while I finished the rest.
The rest was pita, feta and olives and then a big plate of nachos.
We're both happy. And full.
I'm going to make the best mom someday.
'cause I'm less concerned about nutrition and more concerned about theme.
So, when I got back from my grocery trip (I've never been good at making magic from whatever's left in the fridge) I peeked my head around the door and said,
"Who wants a snacky dinner?"
"Me!", we both yelled!
Then, "Hurrah!"
So, I handed him a bowl of Kettle Chips (Chipotle BBQ) and told him to wait while I finished the rest.
The rest was pita, feta and olives and then a big plate of nachos.
We're both happy. And full.
I'm going to make the best mom someday.
'cause I'm less concerned about nutrition and more concerned about theme.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Apparently...
If you ask Jeeves what the top ten sexual fantasies of women are...
or...
....how to soften peanut butter...
you get my blog.
heh.
funny.
or...
....how to soften peanut butter...
you get my blog.
heh.
funny.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Oedipus Rex and the death of Woody Allen
The other day in class, a girl turned to me and sighed, “I think this play has been talked to death. We were studying Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex.
Written about 2500 years ago, it’s been discussed, debated, fixated on, inspected, infected, rejected, and se-lected….
(thanks to Arlo Guthrie for that last bit)
…and now…now in a first year Greek and Roman studies class that’s so freaking easy I do a jig with every new assignment…now sitting in the bowels of the science theatres at the UofC…now we’ve finally talked this play to death.
Well, I’ll be…
I just stammered for a second then pathetically protested, ‘it’s a really good play, though.’
And this is my point. A week previous to this encounter, I took on about 4 or 5 of these kids telling me that the film Oedipus the King was boring. Boring! Sure, it was done as a filmed play. Sure they didn’t change sets or costumes. Sure there was no car chases, love scenes (aside from with his mother, ew.), or Will Ferrell. But boring?
“All they did was stand there and scream at each other! Wahhh. Wahhh. Wahhh. We’re big babies that need our entertainment spoon-fed to us.”
I added the last bit.
I’m disappointed.
This…this is why no one watches Woody Allen anymore. No one cares about dialogue. No one cares about examining a character’s being and trying to understand them and, maybe, if you can, the part of them that’s in you.
I watched Hanna and Her Sisters the other day.
I could go on about W.A.’s insight into the human condition, or his ability to reach ‘the rest of us’, or his refusal to separate good or bad in anyone, or his own public wrestling with the same questions that plague all of us.
G-damn. Or even his ability, every once in awhile, to phrase a line just so and it makes me tear up.
But then I’d sound like a twat.
But I don’t think movies like Troy are going anywhere, so we’d better get used to them.
Perhaps we could get Vin Diesel to play Oedipus and Kate Beckinsale to play Jocasta. If we see him chased out of Thebes by some chariots, but he kills them all and returns to his wife (who somehow realizes she’s not his mother rather than killing herself)…..Hollywood? Here’s the pitch.
Written about 2500 years ago, it’s been discussed, debated, fixated on, inspected, infected, rejected, and se-lected….
(thanks to Arlo Guthrie for that last bit)
…and now…now in a first year Greek and Roman studies class that’s so freaking easy I do a jig with every new assignment…now sitting in the bowels of the science theatres at the UofC…now we’ve finally talked this play to death.
Well, I’ll be…
I just stammered for a second then pathetically protested, ‘it’s a really good play, though.’
And this is my point. A week previous to this encounter, I took on about 4 or 5 of these kids telling me that the film Oedipus the King was boring. Boring! Sure, it was done as a filmed play. Sure they didn’t change sets or costumes. Sure there was no car chases, love scenes (aside from with his mother, ew.), or Will Ferrell. But boring?
“All they did was stand there and scream at each other! Wahhh. Wahhh. Wahhh. We’re big babies that need our entertainment spoon-fed to us.”
I added the last bit.
I’m disappointed.
This…this is why no one watches Woody Allen anymore. No one cares about dialogue. No one cares about examining a character’s being and trying to understand them and, maybe, if you can, the part of them that’s in you.
I watched Hanna and Her Sisters the other day.
I could go on about W.A.’s insight into the human condition, or his ability to reach ‘the rest of us’, or his refusal to separate good or bad in anyone, or his own public wrestling with the same questions that plague all of us.
G-damn. Or even his ability, every once in awhile, to phrase a line just so and it makes me tear up.
But then I’d sound like a twat.
But I don’t think movies like Troy are going anywhere, so we’d better get used to them.
Perhaps we could get Vin Diesel to play Oedipus and Kate Beckinsale to play Jocasta. If we see him chased out of Thebes by some chariots, but he kills them all and returns to his wife (who somehow realizes she’s not his mother rather than killing herself)…..Hollywood? Here’s the pitch.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
grody creepy
The other day I was at work, and this happened:
The characters:
Me: heroine
Mavis: sorta shares a workspace with me. She can be bitchy, but after awhile I've gotten to really like her. She is 57 and never married...and seems to like it that way.
Larry: creepy creepy creepy. Not lecherous, but inappropriately open about his sexuality. Apparently used to 'swing' when he was married. With whom, I have no clue...baboons? they swing. So do bonobos, I hear.
of course, names have been changed to protect...well, me.
Anyway...Mavis and Larry are friends, and Mavis called Larry in his office to ask him to a craft show this (next?) weekend.
From what I heard from her end of the phonecall, I was able to figure out that his answer was, 'Can't. I'm a pathetic creep and I have to go to a sex show at the Roundup Centre because I have the need to let everyone know I am a sexual being. It turns me on to think of you thinking of me having lots of weird sex.'
Or something like that.
I'm good at reading between the lines.
Then, obviously, he invited her and lept out of his chair, sex pamphlet in hand, to run down and show her (and me, 'cause I sit next to her) his dirty little weekend plan.
Enter Larry.
"Yeah...it's a lot of fun. You should go. I never miss a year....yadda...yadda...open minded...yadda yadda....sex toys...yadda yadda..."
barf
Okay.
When I was younger, I used to think this sort of thing was cool.
Younger <--- key
Of course you want to check out what people are doing. Sex is so taboo in so many ways, that you want to look behind those drawn curtains...get giddy and giggly...all that sorta stuff.
Then...you realize a few things:
1- Unless you are ~super~ hot, almost NO ONE wants to picture you have sex. Your significant other, those who have crushes on you...and perhaps the odd freak you meet on the bus. Certainly not if you are a 40'ish divorcee cruisin' a sex 'conference' with a group of buddies patting yourself on the back for having an 'open mind'.
2- a sex conference at the Roundup Centre is going to be filled with the same type of person I described above. And a few hired hot people.
3- you know how creepy sex shops are? Think of that but 100x.
4- no one cares if you're 'open minded' or not. No one really wants to hear about it.
ack. tired of listing.
My point is that after awhile one...well, I obviously can't speak for everyone here, so 'me'...
My point is that after awhile I came to the conclusion that sex was a private thing, and should remain so. I've told stories to friends about past experiences..and some of them are damn funny...but I wouldn't dream of discussing my and my bf's sex life with anyone.
So, if you want to go to a huge sex-raviganza...shut up about it. Espeically at work. Tell your close friends, they probably care. I don't.
But...why go? If you want to know about sex, we have a HUGE internet that can tell you everything you need to know and you don't need to go meet anyone face to face to hear them discuss their product or technique in a frank yet grody manner.
Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that we're living in a society where people can be open enough to discuss their problems. Even for entertainment. I guess the difference is that I get to choose to read or look at what I want, but at work I've got to listen to perv-boy describe his sex-filled weekend.
The sex show...well..whatever. I just think those things are gross. I will bet $50 that anything in there is going to be about as clever, original, insightful or hot as the headlines on a Cosmo cover and tons of people are going to go just 'cause they want to 'expand' their minds...sexually speaking.
ick.
The characters:
Me: heroine
Mavis: sorta shares a workspace with me. She can be bitchy, but after awhile I've gotten to really like her. She is 57 and never married...and seems to like it that way.
Larry: creepy creepy creepy. Not lecherous, but inappropriately open about his sexuality. Apparently used to 'swing' when he was married. With whom, I have no clue...baboons? they swing. So do bonobos, I hear.
of course, names have been changed to protect...well, me.
Anyway...Mavis and Larry are friends, and Mavis called Larry in his office to ask him to a craft show this (next?) weekend.
From what I heard from her end of the phonecall, I was able to figure out that his answer was, 'Can't. I'm a pathetic creep and I have to go to a sex show at the Roundup Centre because I have the need to let everyone know I am a sexual being. It turns me on to think of you thinking of me having lots of weird sex.'
Or something like that.
I'm good at reading between the lines.
Then, obviously, he invited her and lept out of his chair, sex pamphlet in hand, to run down and show her (and me, 'cause I sit next to her) his dirty little weekend plan.
Enter Larry.
"Yeah...it's a lot of fun. You should go. I never miss a year....yadda...yadda...open minded...yadda yadda....sex toys...yadda yadda..."
barf
Okay.
When I was younger, I used to think this sort of thing was cool.
Younger <--- key
Of course you want to check out what people are doing. Sex is so taboo in so many ways, that you want to look behind those drawn curtains...get giddy and giggly...all that sorta stuff.
Then...you realize a few things:
1- Unless you are ~super~ hot, almost NO ONE wants to picture you have sex. Your significant other, those who have crushes on you...and perhaps the odd freak you meet on the bus. Certainly not if you are a 40'ish divorcee cruisin' a sex 'conference' with a group of buddies patting yourself on the back for having an 'open mind'.
2- a sex conference at the Roundup Centre is going to be filled with the same type of person I described above. And a few hired hot people.
3- you know how creepy sex shops are? Think of that but 100x.
4- no one cares if you're 'open minded' or not. No one really wants to hear about it.
ack. tired of listing.
My point is that after awhile one...well, I obviously can't speak for everyone here, so 'me'...
My point is that after awhile I came to the conclusion that sex was a private thing, and should remain so. I've told stories to friends about past experiences..and some of them are damn funny...but I wouldn't dream of discussing my and my bf's sex life with anyone.
So, if you want to go to a huge sex-raviganza...shut up about it. Espeically at work. Tell your close friends, they probably care. I don't.
But...why go? If you want to know about sex, we have a HUGE internet that can tell you everything you need to know and you don't need to go meet anyone face to face to hear them discuss their product or technique in a frank yet grody manner.
Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that we're living in a society where people can be open enough to discuss their problems. Even for entertainment. I guess the difference is that I get to choose to read or look at what I want, but at work I've got to listen to perv-boy describe his sex-filled weekend.
The sex show...well..whatever. I just think those things are gross. I will bet $50 that anything in there is going to be about as clever, original, insightful or hot as the headlines on a Cosmo cover and tons of people are going to go just 'cause they want to 'expand' their minds...sexually speaking.
ick.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
voyeur sundays
Every Sunday, the second or third'ish thing I look at is Postsecret.blogspot.com.
People make postcards with their secrets and send 'em in.
I can't remember where I found this, so I can't thank anyone for the link. Sorry.
People make postcards with their secrets and send 'em in.
I can't remember where I found this, so I can't thank anyone for the link. Sorry.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
my bf was in new york...
...and aside from a lousy t-shirt, he never told me about this:
Naked Cowboy.
If I could only ever have the opportunity to say this:
"Hey look, if I had all the answers, I wouldn't be standing out in my underwear in Times Square."
I'd probably die on the spot, my life's goal fulfilled.
Thanks to Huck for the link.
Naked Cowboy.
If I could only ever have the opportunity to say this:
"Hey look, if I had all the answers, I wouldn't be standing out in my underwear in Times Square."
I'd probably die on the spot, my life's goal fulfilled.
Thanks to Huck for the link.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
oh yeah
This one will make more sense...
lame, but...
if anyone happens to come across this blog and knows anything about Kalaallisut (West Greenlandic) I would love love LOVE to talk to you about it.
I am in the midst of trying to wrap myself inside that language like a child in a blanket. Like a fig in a newton. Like a lvl 48 shaman in a lightning shield.
night night
lame, but...
if anyone happens to come across this blog and knows anything about Kalaallisut (West Greenlandic) I would love love LOVE to talk to you about it.
I am in the midst of trying to wrap myself inside that language like a child in a blanket. Like a fig in a newton. Like a lvl 48 shaman in a lightning shield.
night night
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
re: self portrait in pink
Wow
I'm not sure that made any sense.
And, yes...since I've cut back a whole bunch on drinking, two ciders does get me cut.
love,
himbly
I'm not sure that made any sense.
And, yes...since I've cut back a whole bunch on drinking, two ciders does get me cut.
love,
himbly
self portrait in pink
My blog has taken a turn for the worse. Well...I suppose not ~worse~ worse, but I never wanted post after post of 'this is what I did today', 'this is how I feel today' sorta crap...
...but then again...who cares?
So, I continue. I mean, since school started, I've not had time to think of real things. Going to a lecture on Thursday from the guy who did The Corporation, so that'll get me outside myself for a little while.
(yay! I hear from the left....boo! I hear from the right)
So...I feel great tonight.
And it ain't only the two ciders I've had. Though, I am cut. So forgive me if you do decide to continue.
however, my body doesn't feel all that great.
let me 'splain...
when I was a younger lady...I used to get stressed...and then get sick immediately when said stress ended.
but I'd growed up now...
For the past coupla weeks, this stupid paper was haunting me. I could go into detail as to why this paper was particularly painful, but I won't 'cause I'll sound like a dork. It was due today...and I also had a midterm.
'no problem', I thought, 'I can handle it'. And I did...mostly...I mean, I'm not sick, right?
I got more and more anxious to have these things out of the way.
Woke up this morning (after a week of semi-bad sleep) and my neck was a bit sore.
*shrug*...I slept on it wrong.
But I was eager to see the back end of that paper..and write the midterm and be done...
Handed in paper...went to second class and by the end of it, my neck was so sore that I could barely move my head.
Now I've handed in the paper, wrote the test, and I'm no longer on the verge of tears. My head, however, remains stationary.
G-damn my neck hurts.
And that, children, is apparently how I deal with stress. Oh, that and crying in the bathroom at work.
I've seriously got to work on my blog-writing skills...
...but then again...who cares?
So, I continue. I mean, since school started, I've not had time to think of real things. Going to a lecture on Thursday from the guy who did The Corporation, so that'll get me outside myself for a little while.
(yay! I hear from the left....boo! I hear from the right)
So...I feel great tonight.
And it ain't only the two ciders I've had. Though, I am cut. So forgive me if you do decide to continue.
however, my body doesn't feel all that great.
let me 'splain...
when I was a younger lady...I used to get stressed...and then get sick immediately when said stress ended.
but I'd growed up now...
For the past coupla weeks, this stupid paper was haunting me. I could go into detail as to why this paper was particularly painful, but I won't 'cause I'll sound like a dork. It was due today...and I also had a midterm.
'no problem', I thought, 'I can handle it'. And I did...mostly...I mean, I'm not sick, right?
I got more and more anxious to have these things out of the way.
Woke up this morning (after a week of semi-bad sleep) and my neck was a bit sore.
*shrug*...I slept on it wrong.
But I was eager to see the back end of that paper..and write the midterm and be done...
Handed in paper...went to second class and by the end of it, my neck was so sore that I could barely move my head.
Now I've handed in the paper, wrote the test, and I'm no longer on the verge of tears. My head, however, remains stationary.
G-damn my neck hurts.
And that, children, is apparently how I deal with stress. Oh, that and crying in the bathroom at work.
I've seriously got to work on my blog-writing skills...
Friday, October 21, 2005
while I'm at it...
another
It just occured to me. Without TV, I have no idea if these videos are totally out of date and everyone's seen them already.
oh well.
It just occured to me. Without TV, I have no idea if these videos are totally out of date and everyone's seen them already.
oh well.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
musing
I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now.
I'm always writing a paper, it seems. Ha! I'm gonna start using that (ie. writing a paper) as a euphamism for masturbation.
Now, when I say 'I'm writing a paper', I can tell who reads my blog because they'll snicker.
But, I really am in the midst of a paper. It's about that time of the evening when I start bargaining with myself.
"Dude, if I go to bed now (8:50 pm!!) I can totally wake up super early and work on my paper before I leave for day-work"
Luckily, my present-self has known my bartering-self for many years (they grew up together) and knows that I'm full of horseshit. No deal.
I'm boyfriendless right now as he has gone to New York on a business trip. Lucky. So, I just went to the sushi restaurant downstairs to order some take out as a consolation prize. I won't say how much I ordered (a lot) but all I can say is that I've not even gone through 1/3rd of it and I'm so utterly full. So much for my wild 'goin' stag girl' week.
...sushi I'm too full to eat and homework...
that's what it consists of (and I totally planned it that way). It's alright, though it's really quiet around here and I wake up sorta bummed. I'll be happy when he gets back.
The mouse is still around, too. I stomp before I enter a room to frighten him off.
Anyway...speaking of sushi and restaurants that sell it. If there is reincarnation, I hope -if I live a righteous life- that I come back as a Japanese girl. All you have to do is walk into the place downstairs to understand why a fetish exists about them.
stop!
My toe just slid under the drawer unit under my desk and brushed past something. So, I ran my foot back to check what it was and it was gone...so now I'm freaked out about that stupid mouse again. Seriously! I have a broom sitting beside me just in case I see it.
*heebee jeebees*
eff!
I ought to get back to my paper.
hehe
I'm always writing a paper, it seems. Ha! I'm gonna start using that (ie. writing a paper) as a euphamism for masturbation.
Now, when I say 'I'm writing a paper', I can tell who reads my blog because they'll snicker.
But, I really am in the midst of a paper. It's about that time of the evening when I start bargaining with myself.
"Dude, if I go to bed now (8:50 pm!!) I can totally wake up super early and work on my paper before I leave for day-work"
Luckily, my present-self has known my bartering-self for many years (they grew up together) and knows that I'm full of horseshit. No deal.
I'm boyfriendless right now as he has gone to New York on a business trip. Lucky. So, I just went to the sushi restaurant downstairs to order some take out as a consolation prize. I won't say how much I ordered (a lot) but all I can say is that I've not even gone through 1/3rd of it and I'm so utterly full. So much for my wild 'goin' stag girl' week.
...sushi I'm too full to eat and homework...
that's what it consists of (and I totally planned it that way). It's alright, though it's really quiet around here and I wake up sorta bummed. I'll be happy when he gets back.
The mouse is still around, too. I stomp before I enter a room to frighten him off.
Anyway...speaking of sushi and restaurants that sell it. If there is reincarnation, I hope -if I live a righteous life- that I come back as a Japanese girl. All you have to do is walk into the place downstairs to understand why a fetish exists about them.
stop!
My toe just slid under the drawer unit under my desk and brushed past something. So, I ran my foot back to check what it was and it was gone...so now I'm freaked out about that stupid mouse again. Seriously! I have a broom sitting beside me just in case I see it.
*heebee jeebees*
eff!
I ought to get back to my paper.
hehe
Sunday, October 16, 2005
So..that's how they do it.
I gotta write about part of my dream last night.
I was at a mall with my mum, aunt and two cousins.
The 'up' escalator was next to a staircase, which was against a huge glass pillar that went to the ceiling. Inside, there was a hillside with a rocky river running down.
Inside the river were pipes that shot out piping hot licorice...
-red...don't like the anise-flavoured kind-
...which was immediately cooled by the water. Waiting at the river banks were older, sorta scando-slavic looking people (in scando-slavic garb) and their job was to jump in and wrestle these huge ropes of licorice out of the water and hang them nearby to dry.
Weird, huh? The dream got pretty freaky and scary soon afterwards, but that part made me giggle.
I was at a mall with my mum, aunt and two cousins.
The 'up' escalator was next to a staircase, which was against a huge glass pillar that went to the ceiling. Inside, there was a hillside with a rocky river running down.
Inside the river were pipes that shot out piping hot licorice...
-red...don't like the anise-flavoured kind-
...which was immediately cooled by the water. Waiting at the river banks were older, sorta scando-slavic looking people (in scando-slavic garb) and their job was to jump in and wrestle these huge ropes of licorice out of the water and hang them nearby to dry.
Weird, huh? The dream got pretty freaky and scary soon afterwards, but that part made me giggle.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
No patience for pests
There's a mouse in my kitchen....
....!!!!!!
waaahhhh
What is it about such a tiny little creature that makes me...
a sentient, bipedal, huge (relative to the mouse) mammal
...freak. the. eff. out. when I see one?
I just walked into the kitchen, went to reach for a cup on the drying rack and he was staring back up at me. And, somewhere in my frontal lobes I appreciated how durn cute the lil guy was...
...but clearly my hindbrain took over and I screamed and lept out of the kitchen.
Screamed, everyone.
And not that kinda cute girlie yelp, either.
I let out a wordless exclamation that resembled the same ones all our mothers used to do when you hid behind a door and jumped out at her as a kid.
You know...kinda mid-tone "Aaaah!"
*shame*
So...that 'little begger' (as the woman at the drugstore just called it when she saw me pick up a mousetrap) is going to have a last meal of cheese and peanut butter.
I know...I know...living creature...yadda yadda yadda...but I just can't.
I can't.
I can't live with it and I can't do the 'humane' thing and drive it out to where a/ it's going to come back, b/ it's going to find someone else's house to run into or c/ it's going to freeze anyway.
The only way that little beast and I are going to be able to co-exist is if one of us is dead. And I have a paper due.
....!!!!!!
waaahhhh
What is it about such a tiny little creature that makes me...
a sentient, bipedal, huge (relative to the mouse) mammal
...freak. the. eff. out. when I see one?
I just walked into the kitchen, went to reach for a cup on the drying rack and he was staring back up at me. And, somewhere in my frontal lobes I appreciated how durn cute the lil guy was...
...but clearly my hindbrain took over and I screamed and lept out of the kitchen.
Screamed, everyone.
And not that kinda cute girlie yelp, either.
I let out a wordless exclamation that resembled the same ones all our mothers used to do when you hid behind a door and jumped out at her as a kid.
You know...kinda mid-tone "Aaaah!"
*shame*
So...that 'little begger' (as the woman at the drugstore just called it when she saw me pick up a mousetrap) is going to have a last meal of cheese and peanut butter.
I know...I know...living creature...yadda yadda yadda...but I just can't.
I can't.
I can't live with it and I can't do the 'humane' thing and drive it out to where a/ it's going to come back, b/ it's going to find someone else's house to run into or c/ it's going to freeze anyway.
The only way that little beast and I are going to be able to co-exist is if one of us is dead. And I have a paper due.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Dork Kingdom
Honest.
I really try not to take a 'gender-view' when someone treats me like sidewalk gum.
But...
...sometimes a girl just can't help it. 'Specially when the dorks in question are ~men~...and they happen to be treating ~other men~ as if they both were mensa-brothers.
I'm reasonably descent at both my jobs. I don't ask for much help, I'm able to think out most problems on my own. I try to stay on top of things.
I make mistakes, but nothing tragic or dreadfully stupid.
And the people who I work with ~generally~ are complimentary and appreciative. I've heard 'good gossip' about myself.
Its the people I don't directly work with that feel the need to take a crap on my poor head. And, the funny thing is that when i say, 'hey! you just took a crap on my head!' the little bitches get all nervous and ignore it. Good lord! Either stand up for yourself or talk behind my back.
Seriously...
Anyway...I wrote this entry badly. I would erase it, but I really want to post that pic of the fat kid in a viking outfit.
I really try not to take a 'gender-view' when someone treats me like sidewalk gum.
But...
...sometimes a girl just can't help it. 'Specially when the dorks in question are ~men~...and they happen to be treating ~other men~ as if they both were mensa-brothers.
I'm reasonably descent at both my jobs. I don't ask for much help, I'm able to think out most problems on my own. I try to stay on top of things.
I make mistakes, but nothing tragic or dreadfully stupid.
And the people who I work with ~generally~ are complimentary and appreciative. I've heard 'good gossip' about myself.
Its the people I don't directly work with that feel the need to take a crap on my poor head. And, the funny thing is that when i say, 'hey! you just took a crap on my head!' the little bitches get all nervous and ignore it. Good lord! Either stand up for yourself or talk behind my back.
Seriously...
Anyway...I wrote this entry badly. I would erase it, but I really want to post that pic of the fat kid in a viking outfit.
Friday, September 30, 2005
*speechless*
Thanks to eener who found this.
I've loved Sacha Cohen's comedy ever since I saw a five hour fest of Ali G in London. Here he is again exposing some people's ignorance and predudice.
It's pretty disturbing.
I've loved Sacha Cohen's comedy ever since I saw a five hour fest of Ali G in London. Here he is again exposing some people's ignorance and predudice.
It's pretty disturbing.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
no business like show business
While reading through blogs today, this one reminded me about the film fest going on right now. I really ought to talk about it since I have a very small role to play.
This year, I'm too busy to do much but work a few shifts. Usually I am super excited to be part of it, but this year too much going on.
Be that as it may, I worked on Sunday evening.
I can't quite explain to you the shit show that is my booth during film fest. We get all sorts of film and new equipment in to pull this off. People are coming and going delivering or taking away stuff, there's stacks of reels that need splicing or broken down to ship away, there's schedules, revised schedules and revised revised schedules...
...and there's a big bottle of rum that has the label "projectionist lubricant".
This year I rushed in and asked my boss what there was to splice, break down, cry over, etc....
'nothing', he replied.
'nothing?', I asked.
You see, good reader(s), about half the films this year are on DVD. And although that made me breathe a sigh of relief because I had homework to do, it made me a little sad at the demise of an old craft.
Truth is...from what I've seen so far..you can't make DVD look better than 35mm. Not yet.
So there.
Not that anyone cares...quality is becoming a concern of the past.
But, that's another rant for another day.
(Luckily, the films I ran were on 35 mm so I got to strut my stuff anyway.)
This year, I'm too busy to do much but work a few shifts. Usually I am super excited to be part of it, but this year too much going on.
Be that as it may, I worked on Sunday evening.
I can't quite explain to you the shit show that is my booth during film fest. We get all sorts of film and new equipment in to pull this off. People are coming and going delivering or taking away stuff, there's stacks of reels that need splicing or broken down to ship away, there's schedules, revised schedules and revised revised schedules...
...and there's a big bottle of rum that has the label "projectionist lubricant".
This year I rushed in and asked my boss what there was to splice, break down, cry over, etc....
'nothing', he replied.
'nothing?', I asked.
You see, good reader(s), about half the films this year are on DVD. And although that made me breathe a sigh of relief because I had homework to do, it made me a little sad at the demise of an old craft.
Truth is...from what I've seen so far..you can't make DVD look better than 35mm. Not yet.
So there.
Not that anyone cares...quality is becoming a concern of the past.
But, that's another rant for another day.
(Luckily, the films I ran were on 35 mm so I got to strut my stuff anyway.)
...stuff...
I try not to do regular posts about what's going on in my life...blah blah blah
(say that like a vampire)
but, I seem to be doing that lately, so..what the hay, hey?
My grandmother is in the hospital again. This time blood clot in the arm. She called my mother...
who, by the way, is a fabulous person
...Saturday night and was in the hospital in short order when my mother saw that Nanny's arm was blue and dead cold. Few hours later, quick slice, drag out bloodclot, sew 'er up and bang...back in business.
I could never do it.
Sunday morning I was visting the hospital practically counting the ways I couldn't ever be a doctor or nurse. The sight of my 89 year old grandmother, unwell from the drugs she had been given, attempting to remove said drugs from her system was enough to have me turn on my heel and wait in the little tv room until I judged it was appropriate to come back.
It makes me sad to see her in the hospital. She looks so tiny in that bed. I was rubbing her feet through the sheets and her legs seemed so small. I'm so used to seeing her so robust and Polish.
Anyway...I'm busy writing a paper on Kalaallisut (West Greenlandic).
Saturday, September 24, 2005
well, I should think so...
| English Genius You scored 85% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 100% Expert! |
| You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid |
I'm sure I'm a bit more geek and dork
| Pure Nerd 65 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 30% Dork |
| For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST |
 |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid |
same test, different style
| You are a Social Liberal (71% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (25% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating |
Friday, September 23, 2005
my new addiction
Actually...my newest addiction is doing homework. I can't wait to start when I get home.
I hope this lasts.
But...my new addiction before that (and one that keeps on truckin') is this:
fruit smoothies
After a talk with my hairdresser (about 6 weeks ago or so), I decided to ~drastically~ cut down the sugar in my diet. No sweets, no pop, less processed food...the sugar I put in coffee and tea and the stuff you find in other foods is enough.
But, how to satisfy my sweet craving?
Dude...flavoured (active) yogurt (I've been crazy about goat yogurt), soy milk and whatever fruit you have laying around the house. Blender.
oh my god, they are delicious!
As for the 'less sugar' thing, I am now evangelizing this to every man, woman and child I see. I've even convinced my mother and my father is leaning towards conversion. I feel great.
I hope this lasts.
But...my new addiction before that (and one that keeps on truckin') is this:
fruit smoothies
After a talk with my hairdresser (about 6 weeks ago or so), I decided to ~drastically~ cut down the sugar in my diet. No sweets, no pop, less processed food...the sugar I put in coffee and tea and the stuff you find in other foods is enough.
But, how to satisfy my sweet craving?
Dude...flavoured (active) yogurt (I've been crazy about goat yogurt), soy milk and whatever fruit you have laying around the house. Blender.
oh my god, they are delicious!
As for the 'less sugar' thing, I am now evangelizing this to every man, woman and child I see. I've even convinced my mother and my father is leaning towards conversion. I feel great.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Invisible Children
Please check this site.
I worked at the theatre last night, for the first time in months.
I got to work just about halfway through a documentary called Invisible Children. Dropping my bags off in the booth, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen and stood there transfixed - except for the times what I saw was so heartwrenching that I had to look away.
The 'invisible children' they were talking about were, seriously, thousands of children abducted by rebels in Uganda to become part of their army. They are:
a/ afraid to death of being kidnapped, so they run to the city hospital at night for protection causing severe overcrowding
b/ kidnapped anyway
c/ taken to the bush, given a gun and forced to watch other children brutally murdered in front of them for discipline and desensitization
d/ between the ages of five and twelve
if they do escape, they are either kidnapped again, killed, or -if they're lucky- they live the rest of their lives with ~this~ behind them
if they don't, they are forced to kill hundreds of people, nearly starved, abused sexually and otherwise, and very possibly eventually killed.
I don't know how to end this post.
I worked at the theatre last night, for the first time in months.
I got to work just about halfway through a documentary called Invisible Children. Dropping my bags off in the booth, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen and stood there transfixed - except for the times what I saw was so heartwrenching that I had to look away.
The 'invisible children' they were talking about were, seriously, thousands of children abducted by rebels in Uganda to become part of their army. They are:
a/ afraid to death of being kidnapped, so they run to the city hospital at night for protection causing severe overcrowding
b/ kidnapped anyway
c/ taken to the bush, given a gun and forced to watch other children brutally murdered in front of them for discipline and desensitization
d/ between the ages of five and twelve
if they do escape, they are either kidnapped again, killed, or -if they're lucky- they live the rest of their lives with ~this~ behind them
if they don't, they are forced to kill hundreds of people, nearly starved, abused sexually and otherwise, and very possibly eventually killed.
I don't know how to end this post.
a theory
At school, I encounter many young women between 18 and, say, 22.
...and when I say 'encounter' I mean 'get stuck behind a group of them when I am in a hurry'.
...and when I say 'get stuck behind a group of them when I'm in a hurry' I, of course, mean 'I get stuck behind many groups of them when I'm in a hurry'.
It is for this reason I devised a theory as to why this phenomenon occurs...and why this phenomenon occurs has something to do with this:
They've never carried enough weight.
All of those young ladies' high metabolisms have made it so they've never carried much weight on their little frames. Which, surely, means they've not developed the leg muscles or the cardio fitness to walk fast and purposefully to their next class.
Stay with me...
To cover for their inabilities, they travel in packs with other slow moving girls and their constant chatter is a way of dealing with the fact they are forced to take short, shallow breaths.
And that, my darlings, is why I get stuck behind them.
...and when I say 'encounter' I mean 'get stuck behind a group of them when I am in a hurry'.
...and when I say 'get stuck behind a group of them when I'm in a hurry' I, of course, mean 'I get stuck behind many groups of them when I'm in a hurry'.
It is for this reason I devised a theory as to why this phenomenon occurs...and why this phenomenon occurs has something to do with this:
They've never carried enough weight.
All of those young ladies' high metabolisms have made it so they've never carried much weight on their little frames. Which, surely, means they've not developed the leg muscles or the cardio fitness to walk fast and purposefully to their next class.
Stay with me...
To cover for their inabilities, they travel in packs with other slow moving girls and their constant chatter is a way of dealing with the fact they are forced to take short, shallow breaths.
And that, my darlings, is why I get stuck behind them.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Jumpin' Jeee-hosephat!
I'm back in school.
heh
yeah, I know.
Tuesday was my first day, but I've been reading so durn much since then that I didn't manage to get time to blog about it.
First day was cool. It took me about an hour to calm down enough to realize it was cool, but it was cool.
Beats the crap outta workin'...which I'm still doing, but on a part-time basis.
Oh, by the way. The lame picture with this post is of my elementary school gym. GO PANTHERS!
(I still remember those stupid terrycloth just-barely-not-underwear' gym shorts they made the girls wear)
So. A few notes about my after-8-years-return-to-school. Or maybe I should explain why I've returned after 8 years and am currently still doing undergrad stttuuuufff.
I'm eventually going to grad school...however, I need to up my GPA a little, get to know my profs a little, etc a little, to do so. So, I took this year to do just that. Which means, I'm taking mostly linguistics courses ('cause they're my favourite) and a Greek and Roman Studies course (myth and lit) because it was one of the few courses left over that would fit into my schedule neatly.
Man. Everyone's so YOUNG. The bad news is that most of the girls on campus are skinnier than me. The good news is that I could probably take them all in a fight.
Even my little cousin (19) said, 'my god! the first years are so YOUNG!'
*slitting my wrists*
Linguistics classes are the same. First day of school. Not sure if you're in the right class. Look around. All chicks? Yup, right class.
And the profs STILL ask any boy that comes in on the first day if he realizes this is linguistics. 50% of the time he'll go, 'oh!' and turn to walk out the door.
hahaha
Does anyone out there know anything about West Greenlandic?
heh
yeah, I know.
Tuesday was my first day, but I've been reading so durn much since then that I didn't manage to get time to blog about it.
First day was cool. It took me about an hour to calm down enough to realize it was cool, but it was cool.
Beats the crap outta workin'...which I'm still doing, but on a part-time basis.
Oh, by the way. The lame picture with this post is of my elementary school gym. GO PANTHERS!
(I still remember those stupid terrycloth just-barely-not-underwear' gym shorts they made the girls wear)
So. A few notes about my after-8-years-return-to-school. Or maybe I should explain why I've returned after 8 years and am currently still doing undergrad stttuuuufff.
I'm eventually going to grad school...however, I need to up my GPA a little, get to know my profs a little, etc a little, to do so. So, I took this year to do just that. Which means, I'm taking mostly linguistics courses ('cause they're my favourite) and a Greek and Roman Studies course (myth and lit) because it was one of the few courses left over that would fit into my schedule neatly.
Man. Everyone's so YOUNG. The bad news is that most of the girls on campus are skinnier than me. The good news is that I could probably take them all in a fight.
Even my little cousin (19) said, 'my god! the first years are so YOUNG!'
*slitting my wrists*
Linguistics classes are the same. First day of school. Not sure if you're in the right class. Look around. All chicks? Yup, right class.
And the profs STILL ask any boy that comes in on the first day if he realizes this is linguistics. 50% of the time he'll go, 'oh!' and turn to walk out the door.
hahaha
Does anyone out there know anything about West Greenlandic?
Friday, August 19, 2005
The other day...
I want to try to relate to you what I saw the other day.
It was something that's not quite left my mind and has had me periodically giggling since.
I was hot-footing it to workland the other morning and closing in fast. Whilst crossing the intersection that would lead me straight into my building, I was met by a petite, pretty, serene-looking Asian woman crossing the other way.
She had long, dark hair, was dressed girlishly in a light skirt and blouse. She was perched precariously atop of an old-style, slightly rickity bike. The type of bike that you can hear as it passes you, you know?
Anyway, she was looking nervous.
Clearly the art of bicycle riding and she had not made fast friends. Unlike the MEC-clad cyclists that had blazed past me that morning, she was slightly wobbly...but determined.
Now, none of this struck me enough that I would feel the need to type this on my blog today, except that on her head, where a proper bike-helmet belonged, sat a white hardhat.
And it wasn't sitting right, either. It was kinda migrating to the back of her head, and turned itself around so that the brim was somewhere out of my sight.
And I was in front of her.
As I passed this adorably hazzardous scene (and she passed me) I heard behind me a
YELP
and the squeal of tires.
I tried to think good thoughts for her for the rest of the day.
It was something that's not quite left my mind and has had me periodically giggling since.
I was hot-footing it to workland the other morning and closing in fast. Whilst crossing the intersection that would lead me straight into my building, I was met by a petite, pretty, serene-looking Asian woman crossing the other way.
She had long, dark hair, was dressed girlishly in a light skirt and blouse. She was perched precariously atop of an old-style, slightly rickity bike. The type of bike that you can hear as it passes you, you know?
Anyway, she was looking nervous.
Clearly the art of bicycle riding and she had not made fast friends. Unlike the MEC-clad cyclists that had blazed past me that morning, she was slightly wobbly...but determined.
Now, none of this struck me enough that I would feel the need to type this on my blog today, except that on her head, where a proper bike-helmet belonged, sat a white hardhat.
And it wasn't sitting right, either. It was kinda migrating to the back of her head, and turned itself around so that the brim was somewhere out of my sight.
And I was in front of her.
As I passed this adorably hazzardous scene (and she passed me) I heard behind me a
YELP
and the squeal of tires.
I tried to think good thoughts for her for the rest of the day.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
As Moses said to the Pharaoh: "Lego my peeps, yo"
Okay.
I want to read the Bible, but I'm too daunted with the whole idea of actually ~reading~ the Bible.
I don't want to read the Bible because it's "The Good Book" nor do I want to read it because it's ~A~ good book. I want to read it because so much reference is made to the stories in it.
So I thought this was a good start.
Exodus is really funny in lego form. Probably in book form, too.
I want to read the Bible, but I'm too daunted with the whole idea of actually ~reading~ the Bible.
I don't want to read the Bible because it's "The Good Book" nor do I want to read it because it's ~A~ good book. I want to read it because so much reference is made to the stories in it.
So I thought this was a good start.
Exodus is really funny in lego form. Probably in book form, too.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Re: my last post
You know...I'm not good at politics.
Yet.
I'm fairly new to this. I've only started reading the news regularly in the past couple of years. I'm not good (yet) at naming events, dates, and names at crucial moments in an argument.
I'm not confident enough to bullshit my way through it, either.
But I do know that he is right.
And I would like to offer some praise to Tony Blair, Londoners and the Brits in general for keeping level heads and thinking to meet with Muslim community leaders in an effort to start understanding.
Yet.
I'm fairly new to this. I've only started reading the news regularly in the past couple of years. I'm not good (yet) at naming events, dates, and names at crucial moments in an argument.
I'm not confident enough to bullshit my way through it, either.
But I do know that he is right.
And I would like to offer some praise to Tony Blair, Londoners and the Brits in general for keeping level heads and thinking to meet with Muslim community leaders in an effort to start understanding.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
...
The day before yesterday, NASA celebrated another triumph of engineering when they managed to steer their probe straight into a comet.
*SMASH*
Now they have data. Lots.
I have to admit, every time I hear of something like this my first reaction is 'holy crap! nice work, everyone.' because...wow. They ~steered an effing probe into a comet~! Congratulations, Science. Very impressive.
Then I think of all the money that could come from that research to help us here on Earth...but then I think, 'but they ~steered a probe into an effing comet~!'. But still...holy $$$.
and now they're being sued
by a Russian astrologer for tampering with the future of civilization.
and that's funny...but then you've got to think that we've already made some pretty big mistakes here on Earth...is it really wise of us to go up into space and start tinkering there?
Anyway...
If we need proof that things have gone a little weird since the whole comet-slamming thing, I've got some:
1- My new hero Matt Striker.
2- My other new hero Russian Drag Cheater.
3- That anyone cares what Jacques Chirac, Gerhard Schoeder, and Vlad Putin think about British
and Finnish cuisine.
Actually...that last one I don't think anyone but the media (and maybe cooks) care. But...it's funny.
*SMASH*
Now they have data. Lots.
I have to admit, every time I hear of something like this my first reaction is 'holy crap! nice work, everyone.' because...wow. They ~steered an effing probe into a comet~! Congratulations, Science. Very impressive.
Then I think of all the money that could come from that research to help us here on Earth...but then I think, 'but they ~steered a probe into an effing comet~!'. But still...holy $$$.
and now they're being sued
by a Russian astrologer for tampering with the future of civilization.
and that's funny...but then you've got to think that we've already made some pretty big mistakes here on Earth...is it really wise of us to go up into space and start tinkering there?
Anyway...
If we need proof that things have gone a little weird since the whole comet-slamming thing, I've got some:
1- My new hero Matt Striker.
2- My other new hero Russian Drag Cheater.
3- That anyone cares what Jacques Chirac, Gerhard Schoeder, and Vlad Putin think about British
and Finnish cuisine.
Actually...that last one I don't think anyone but the media (and maybe cooks) care. But...it's funny.
Friday, June 10, 2005
A Retraction
There was a time when...
if you were listening and the wind was blowing the right way
...you could have heard me say, "'Fever' is my fave song and it's impossible for ~anyone~ to screw it up".
I would like to firmly, but very sadly, retract that statement.
Furthermore, I would like to make this retraction retroactive to Madonna's
version of this song.
Thank you.
if you were listening and the wind was blowing the right way
...you could have heard me say, "'Fever' is my fave song and it's impossible for ~anyone~ to screw it up".
I would like to firmly, but very sadly, retract that statement.
Furthermore, I would like to make this retraction retroactive to Madonna's
version of this song.
Thank you.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
If you don't stand for something, you'll eat anything....
I'm against fat marriage.
I think it's an abomination and a detriment to our society to allow these buttery little creampuffs to unite under God's pained eyes.
Think of the cost on taffeta! Let alone the injury caused should a piece of support underclothing burst.
As we're all aware, there has been much controversy over gay marriage recently. Consider this: it's all a very clever smoke screen thrown up by the obese community so that they can get married by the rolly polly thousands while we're all watching My Fabulous Gay Wedding. Why else would we care what a homosexual man wears on 'his day'? It needs to be stopped. Marriage is not a right, it's a privilege and the thought that overly portly lovebirds are falling over each other in a slow and sweaty race to get another slice of wedding cake just...well...it's just not right.
I mean...correct me if I'm wrong, but it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Orca. If God had wanted fatties to pair off he wouldn't have covered their genitals with sagging bellies and flabby thighs. It's unnatural because, unlike homosexuality, you don't see ~that~ in the wild.
And, if they do manage to fit 'tab A into slot B' (somehow), the children! What about the children? Watching Mommy and Daddy's deep fried behaviour certainly will reflect in their own lifestyle choices. Some grow up thinking it's okay and acceptable and end up running (ha!) with the greasy torch of their parents within their moist grip. Or, studies have also shown, other grown children of flabby couples have regretted their sweet and sticky formative years (where, I've heard, some were unaware of some 'higher' concepts (ie. the sky) until they entered school...so long they were sheltered under a dimpled umbrella) and advise against it.
Besides...from what I've heard and seen, fat people don't even want to get married. Most find each other as unappealing as the rest of us do. Why should we redefine our definition of the word and holy sacrament of marriage (as a union between a man and a woman...but I'm not sure that includes such characters as jabba the hut and the michellen man) for a small minority of people who wouldn't want to 'get it on' with each other anyway? I mean, if you can't bear to watch someone dance, it's probably worse to watch them sweating and panting above, below, or behind you, your preference is none of my business.
It is an unhealthy lifestyle and therefore harmful that the wishes of the chubby are being thrust into our regular, god-fearing, easy-on-the-butter society. If we accept this then what's next? Monkeys running for office? Robots driving cars? What?
I think it's an abomination and a detriment to our society to allow these buttery little creampuffs to unite under God's pained eyes.
Think of the cost on taffeta! Let alone the injury caused should a piece of support underclothing burst.
As we're all aware, there has been much controversy over gay marriage recently. Consider this: it's all a very clever smoke screen thrown up by the obese community so that they can get married by the rolly polly thousands while we're all watching My Fabulous Gay Wedding. Why else would we care what a homosexual man wears on 'his day'? It needs to be stopped. Marriage is not a right, it's a privilege and the thought that overly portly lovebirds are falling over each other in a slow and sweaty race to get another slice of wedding cake just...well...it's just not right.
I mean...correct me if I'm wrong, but it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Orca. If God had wanted fatties to pair off he wouldn't have covered their genitals with sagging bellies and flabby thighs. It's unnatural because, unlike homosexuality, you don't see ~that~ in the wild.
And, if they do manage to fit 'tab A into slot B' (somehow), the children! What about the children? Watching Mommy and Daddy's deep fried behaviour certainly will reflect in their own lifestyle choices. Some grow up thinking it's okay and acceptable and end up running (ha!) with the greasy torch of their parents within their moist grip. Or, studies have also shown, other grown children of flabby couples have regretted their sweet and sticky formative years (where, I've heard, some were unaware of some 'higher' concepts (ie. the sky) until they entered school...so long they were sheltered under a dimpled umbrella) and advise against it.
Besides...from what I've heard and seen, fat people don't even want to get married. Most find each other as unappealing as the rest of us do. Why should we redefine our definition of the word and holy sacrament of marriage (as a union between a man and a woman...but I'm not sure that includes such characters as jabba the hut and the michellen man) for a small minority of people who wouldn't want to 'get it on' with each other anyway? I mean, if you can't bear to watch someone dance, it's probably worse to watch them sweating and panting above, below, or behind you, your preference is none of my business.
It is an unhealthy lifestyle and therefore harmful that the wishes of the chubby are being thrust into our regular, god-fearing, easy-on-the-butter society. If we accept this then what's next? Monkeys running for office? Robots driving cars? What?
Friday, May 13, 2005
Live Nude Men
Last night I was trained in my second casting session to run a camera.
For my post on the first one see Girls Girls Girls that I wrote...I dunno...last week or somethin'.
Anyway...this one couldn't have been more different than a bunch of 3-5 year old little girls running around with their dresses up. It was a bunch of 21-55 year old men running around with their tops off. See? Complete opposite.
I can tell you the girls were way cuter.
Shirtless men of all shapes, sizes and ages were led into the casting room 3 at a time to audition for a pants commercial and were then instructed to dance to the musical stylings of Mr. Leo Sayer's You Make Me Feel Like Dancing with their hands in the air.
It was all about the belly.
And I was instructed to film them from the nipples downward.
The irony is that this has been #4 in my top ten list of sexual fantasies. It comes right after being bukkake'd by the linguistics department at MIT and a threesome with Charles and Camilla (but Diana's still alive in my fantasy).
It was quite funny to watch half naked men forced to akwardly dance in front of fully clothed men with two women on camera. It reminded me of another fantasy in which I'm in some sort of cross between a night club and a nazi camp.
In the end...I have no idea who they picked.
For my post on the first one see Girls Girls Girls that I wrote...I dunno...last week or somethin'.
Anyway...this one couldn't have been more different than a bunch of 3-5 year old little girls running around with their dresses up. It was a bunch of 21-55 year old men running around with their tops off. See? Complete opposite.
I can tell you the girls were way cuter.
Shirtless men of all shapes, sizes and ages were led into the casting room 3 at a time to audition for a pants commercial and were then instructed to dance to the musical stylings of Mr. Leo Sayer's You Make Me Feel Like Dancing with their hands in the air.
It was all about the belly.
And I was instructed to film them from the nipples downward.
The irony is that this has been #4 in my top ten list of sexual fantasies. It comes right after being bukkake'd by the linguistics department at MIT and a threesome with Charles and Camilla (but Diana's still alive in my fantasy).
It was quite funny to watch half naked men forced to akwardly dance in front of fully clothed men with two women on camera. It reminded me of another fantasy in which I'm in some sort of cross between a night club and a nazi camp.
In the end...I have no idea who they picked.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
For the record
Micheal Jackson never molested me, either.
In fact, he never even invited me to Neverland.
In fact, he never even invited me to Neverland.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
WoW
Dear Sir,
As a level 30 Tauren curently residing in The Barrens, I was wondering how many experience points this would get me, considering this would ~have~ to be a 40 lvl quest at least.
Also, I would like to know if there is the chance for a reward of some sort of magic item?
Strength in honour,
Hoots
As a level 30 Tauren curently residing in The Barrens, I was wondering how many experience points this would get me, considering this would ~have~ to be a 40 lvl quest at least.
Also, I would like to know if there is the chance for a reward of some sort of magic item?
Strength in honour,
Hoots
shoe
I had a rock in my shoe all day yesterday.
I was too lazy to take it out, so I called it 'penance'.
I feel cleansed.
I was too lazy to take it out, so I called it 'penance'.
I feel cleansed.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Wow! I'm great, I guess!
Your #1 Match: INFP |
The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. |
Your #2 Match: ISFP |
The Artist You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now). You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children. Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life. Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs. You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer. |
Your #3 Match: ENFP |
The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. |
Your #4 Match: ESFP |
The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor. |
Your #5 Match: INFJ |
The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. |
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Friday, April 22, 2005
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Last night I was at a casting session for 2-5 year old little girls.
(I was there to start training on how to run a camera for these things since it's my friends' business and they're run off their feet at the moment.)
I don't know if these auditions were for a movie or for TV but I do know one thing....piles of little girls dressed up and eager are really really funny.
I ~could~ tell you a ton of stories about what each little girl did that was cuter than the last...but everyone within a 10m radius of me has heard/is hearing/will hear those yesterday, today and probably tomorrow, so I won't do it here. However, I will tell you that if I have a little girl that is in a performance situation, I will put her in pants as it's much more difficult to pull those over your head when you're nervous. I will tell you that now instead of a puppy, I want a daughter...but I realize they're harder to chain up in the backyard. I also will tell you that little girls really enjoy saying 'shit' when their dad says they're allowed.
Can you imagine what my bf had to deal with when I got home?
But most of all, I just wanted to mention this:
The woman who was directing the casting session was quite brilliant at eliciting the response she wanted from each of the little girls. Not all of them did what she asked, but she achieved a much higher success rate than I would....so I call it 'brilliant'.
For instance, each little girl was asked to perform a song. If they seemed they would sing with a little bit of encouragement, the casting director would start singing (ABC, Itsy Bitsy Spider, or even songs she didn't know) wrong and the girls would not be able to help correcting her by singing the song in full. So it would go like this:
CD: "oh! Itsy Bitsy Spider is my favourite song! It goes like this:
Itsy Bitsy Elephant
Went down the wall
And it started to rain..."
kid: "nooooo! It's like this..."
And she would stand up and sing the song as well as she could...~with~ the actions.
Watching this, it finally hit me.
I've never grown past that stage of development.
Jesus, I've only ~just~ grown past the lifting my dress when I'm nervous phase!
(I was there to start training on how to run a camera for these things since it's my friends' business and they're run off their feet at the moment.)
I don't know if these auditions were for a movie or for TV but I do know one thing....piles of little girls dressed up and eager are really really funny.
I ~could~ tell you a ton of stories about what each little girl did that was cuter than the last...but everyone within a 10m radius of me has heard/is hearing/will hear those yesterday, today and probably tomorrow, so I won't do it here. However, I will tell you that if I have a little girl that is in a performance situation, I will put her in pants as it's much more difficult to pull those over your head when you're nervous. I will tell you that now instead of a puppy, I want a daughter...but I realize they're harder to chain up in the backyard. I also will tell you that little girls really enjoy saying 'shit' when their dad says they're allowed.
Can you imagine what my bf had to deal with when I got home?
But most of all, I just wanted to mention this:
The woman who was directing the casting session was quite brilliant at eliciting the response she wanted from each of the little girls. Not all of them did what she asked, but she achieved a much higher success rate than I would....so I call it 'brilliant'.
For instance, each little girl was asked to perform a song. If they seemed they would sing with a little bit of encouragement, the casting director would start singing (ABC, Itsy Bitsy Spider, or even songs she didn't know) wrong and the girls would not be able to help correcting her by singing the song in full. So it would go like this:
CD: "oh! Itsy Bitsy Spider is my favourite song! It goes like this:
Itsy Bitsy Elephant
Went down the wall
And it started to rain..."
kid: "nooooo! It's like this..."
And she would stand up and sing the song as well as she could...~with~ the actions.
Watching this, it finally hit me.
I've never grown past that stage of development.
Jesus, I've only ~just~ grown past the lifting my dress when I'm nervous phase!
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Lord of the Flies
The newest sensation from those who brought you Riverdance...
kidding
I just finished reading William Golding's excellent book Lord of the Flies...after months and months. It didn't take that long because it's at all a bad book...on the contrary, it's a great book. It took that long because I've developed into quite a lazy reader these days.
There were even times I was as gripped by it as I have been by WoW. Believe it.
At any rate...if you've read it, test your knowledge with this.
kidding
I just finished reading William Golding's excellent book Lord of the Flies...after months and months. It didn't take that long because it's at all a bad book...on the contrary, it's a great book. It took that long because I've developed into quite a lazy reader these days.
There were even times I was as gripped by it as I have been by WoW. Believe it.
At any rate...if you've read it, test your knowledge with this.
Maradiaga (Honduras) to win...
...Germany to place and Italy to show.
Looks like someone's beat me to it.
Anyone else got any bets? That's mine above.
Looks like someone's beat me to it.
Anyone else got any bets? That's mine above.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
I guess you could call me a misanthropope...
Lauren Bacall recently made a statement:
We live in an age of mediocrity. Stars today are not the same stature as Bogie (Humphrey Bogart), Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda and Jimmy Stewart.
How true.
She, of course, was talking about entertainment. But the truth in that statement extends far beyond.
I'm sure she knows that.
Perhaps it's crass to bring this up before the poor old man is even carried to his final resting place, but *shrug*. More and more as famous and important people waltz off this mortal coil, the reaction has become less actual mourning as much as it has been made into a cultural event in which ~everyone~ wants to say they played a part. And, more and more as we move deeper and deeper into the age of communication and information, we are able to use television, radio and the internet to whip ourselves up into a froth of anticipation, sorrow, or commiseration faster than you can say, 'papal election'.
There are simply not as many real mourners out there as there is people making a show of mourning.
Currently, I am thanking whatever omnipresent being there is that allowed me the foresight to not have access to television for this event. It's all I can take seeing as much as I have. The media circus started days before he even died -my god- and reported to the world every cough and wheeze that escaped him. There's only so many candlelight vigils a person can watch before you either want to tear your hair out or book a ticket to Rome. And millions of people chose the latter simply because they were told others were doing it.
Now (what prompted my writing this) what I hear is rumblings he ought to be named Pope John Paul II 'The Great'. 'The Great'? The only 'great' thing he did was to survive the Vatican for 26 years...which ~was~ a feat considering his predecessor lasted only 33 days. Of course, it's not as insane as when Diana died and people were calling for her to be sainted in the Church of England, but it's still pretty insane.
(That's where my comparisons of the Pope and Diana will end since the Pope was an infinitely more important and influential person than a silly jet-setting princess.)
Anyway, John Paul II was not a 'great' pope.
As a man, he was unusually ambitious, academic, and committed. He would have to be, they don't pick you if you're not. The top banana of the Holy See is a position of unique power and authority. Mediocre men do not reach this position as they can as heads of other governments and royalty. But the title then affords you the ability to ~not~ grow, to not cater to the needs of your people, to meddle where you like and not not respond to situations to which you don't want to respond. Once you're there, you're there...
So, he was not a great pope, nor was he a great man. And I'm not saying that disrespectfully, there are very few real 'great' men and women. That's why they're great...because it's rare. He simply was not one of them. He did some good work, but not enough for me to fall to my knees clutching a rosary and trying to get through to Air Canada on my cell.
(He was also not a holy man. As an ex-Catholic, I cannot see one shred of connection between the Vatican and anything that is ~actually~ holy. But...that's me.)
'Great' as a title can only come to men and women who have gone above and beyond the call of duty. John Paul II did not. To 'splain:
One of the main jobs of the Pope is to promote the Catholic Church. A pope travels, meets people, performs mass all over the world in a grand scale attempt to keep Catholics catholic and make non-catholics catholic. The pomp and circumstance that surrounds the Catholic church and it's rituals is one of the world's oldest forms of propaganda and advertising. Check an art history text.
It is true that JPII was directly involved with the fall of communism in Europe. He worked up the people so that Lech Walesa could do his thing so that Mikhail Gorbachev could do ~his~ thing. It was important and changed the lives of millions upon millions. But, it wasn't altruistic. As pope it was his job to sniff out the opportunity to regain millions of Catholics lost to communism. He was the right nationality, in the right place at the right time. Good job, but it would have happened with or without him.
So, yeah...but no.
A truly great man and a truly great pope would reform the church. He would try to drag it closer to the 21st century and address the issues of today in a more rational manner. It's relatively important to us in North America and Europe, but we forget the grip the church has on third world and developing nations and how it's absolutely vital to the people of those cultures that it act with logic and caring. The pope was vocal in STILL condemning birth control and masturbation as mortal sins while these countries sink under the weight of the problems brought about by overpopulation and HIV.
And of course, a truly great pope would have tackled the issue of rampant pedophilia within it's clergy and tried to save thousands of children from it's own predators. Instead, he allowed these men to be nuzzled within the safety of the Vatican, moved from parish to parish with no regard for the children they were to meet next. As Christopher Hitchens referenced Maureen Dowd:
I should say now that I think she put it best of all. A church that has allowed no latitude in its teachings on masturbation, premarital sex, birth control, and divorce suddenly asks for understanding and "wiggle room" for the most revolting crime on the books.
But, in this age of communication at the speed of light, media as the center of everyone's attention, and news of events that can now reach almost anyone in the world, it is easy to forget all the important things a person ~hasn't~ done and lift up their achievements so that they seem to have reached such heights that the world almost deifies them. We seem so badly want ~something~ and we rush toward whatever we can to lose ourselves in it.
Whatever.
I, for one, am very curious as to who's up next. I'm thinking of putting bets on it. Anyone with me?
We live in an age of mediocrity. Stars today are not the same stature as Bogie (Humphrey Bogart), Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda and Jimmy Stewart.
How true.
She, of course, was talking about entertainment. But the truth in that statement extends far beyond.
I'm sure she knows that.
Perhaps it's crass to bring this up before the poor old man is even carried to his final resting place, but *shrug*. More and more as famous and important people waltz off this mortal coil, the reaction has become less actual mourning as much as it has been made into a cultural event in which ~everyone~ wants to say they played a part. And, more and more as we move deeper and deeper into the age of communication and information, we are able to use television, radio and the internet to whip ourselves up into a froth of anticipation, sorrow, or commiseration faster than you can say, 'papal election'.
There are simply not as many real mourners out there as there is people making a show of mourning.
Currently, I am thanking whatever omnipresent being there is that allowed me the foresight to not have access to television for this event. It's all I can take seeing as much as I have. The media circus started days before he even died -my god- and reported to the world every cough and wheeze that escaped him. There's only so many candlelight vigils a person can watch before you either want to tear your hair out or book a ticket to Rome. And millions of people chose the latter simply because they were told others were doing it.
Now (what prompted my writing this) what I hear is rumblings he ought to be named Pope John Paul II 'The Great'. 'The Great'? The only 'great' thing he did was to survive the Vatican for 26 years...which ~was~ a feat considering his predecessor lasted only 33 days. Of course, it's not as insane as when Diana died and people were calling for her to be sainted in the Church of England, but it's still pretty insane.
(That's where my comparisons of the Pope and Diana will end since the Pope was an infinitely more important and influential person than a silly jet-setting princess.)
Anyway, John Paul II was not a 'great' pope.
As a man, he was unusually ambitious, academic, and committed. He would have to be, they don't pick you if you're not. The top banana of the Holy See is a position of unique power and authority. Mediocre men do not reach this position as they can as heads of other governments and royalty. But the title then affords you the ability to ~not~ grow, to not cater to the needs of your people, to meddle where you like and not not respond to situations to which you don't want to respond. Once you're there, you're there...
So, he was not a great pope, nor was he a great man. And I'm not saying that disrespectfully, there are very few real 'great' men and women. That's why they're great...because it's rare. He simply was not one of them. He did some good work, but not enough for me to fall to my knees clutching a rosary and trying to get through to Air Canada on my cell.
(He was also not a holy man. As an ex-Catholic, I cannot see one shred of connection between the Vatican and anything that is ~actually~ holy. But...that's me.)
'Great' as a title can only come to men and women who have gone above and beyond the call of duty. John Paul II did not. To 'splain:
One of the main jobs of the Pope is to promote the Catholic Church. A pope travels, meets people, performs mass all over the world in a grand scale attempt to keep Catholics catholic and make non-catholics catholic. The pomp and circumstance that surrounds the Catholic church and it's rituals is one of the world's oldest forms of propaganda and advertising. Check an art history text.
It is true that JPII was directly involved with the fall of communism in Europe. He worked up the people so that Lech Walesa could do his thing so that Mikhail Gorbachev could do ~his~ thing. It was important and changed the lives of millions upon millions. But, it wasn't altruistic. As pope it was his job to sniff out the opportunity to regain millions of Catholics lost to communism. He was the right nationality, in the right place at the right time. Good job, but it would have happened with or without him.
So, yeah...but no.
A truly great man and a truly great pope would reform the church. He would try to drag it closer to the 21st century and address the issues of today in a more rational manner. It's relatively important to us in North America and Europe, but we forget the grip the church has on third world and developing nations and how it's absolutely vital to the people of those cultures that it act with logic and caring. The pope was vocal in STILL condemning birth control and masturbation as mortal sins while these countries sink under the weight of the problems brought about by overpopulation and HIV.
And of course, a truly great pope would have tackled the issue of rampant pedophilia within it's clergy and tried to save thousands of children from it's own predators. Instead, he allowed these men to be nuzzled within the safety of the Vatican, moved from parish to parish with no regard for the children they were to meet next. As Christopher Hitchens referenced Maureen Dowd:
I should say now that I think she put it best of all. A church that has allowed no latitude in its teachings on masturbation, premarital sex, birth control, and divorce suddenly asks for understanding and "wiggle room" for the most revolting crime on the books.
But, in this age of communication at the speed of light, media as the center of everyone's attention, and news of events that can now reach almost anyone in the world, it is easy to forget all the important things a person ~hasn't~ done and lift up their achievements so that they seem to have reached such heights that the world almost deifies them. We seem so badly want ~something~ and we rush toward whatever we can to lose ourselves in it.
Whatever.
I, for one, am very curious as to who's up next. I'm thinking of putting bets on it. Anyone with me?
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