Thursday, June 29, 2006

Reviews from the booth


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Originally uploaded by himbly.
Been awhile since I've done this...

Been awhile since i've watched a movie at work...

Actually, it's still been awhile since I've not watched more than 15 seconds of this movie at any time...

My impression after 6 screenings and a few peeps through the door?

*gag*

lame.

ugh.

gross.

Let me tell you why.

Firstly, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bollock.

Secondly, every freakin' time I poke my head into that theatre, I am repelled by what I see and cannot last longer than the 15 seconds mentioned earlier. Let's quickly examine this because I think it is relevant.

My theatre, by my city's standards, is old. Real old (again, by Calgary standards). The insulation has 'jumped the shark' many decades ago rendering it cold in the winter and reminiscent of Hades on days like the past two (both of which I've worked). The breath of Beelzebub himself flows forth from that projector some days.

The only air conditioned/fanned place in the building is inside the theatre in an effort to prevent our customers melting, evaporating and causing sudden thunderstorms while the film is running.

This all being true (and I swear to you it is)...don't you think I want to spend time inside the theatre instead of spreading my 'sitting time' evenly along the couch so that one side does not get sweat stained more than the other? G-damn I do! And Keanu is preventing me as much as if he was physically blocking the entrance.

Anyway...I see this:

Sandra Bullock crying beside her mailbox.

Keanu slowly walking through bushes.

Sandra and Keanu slowly dancing to Paul McCartney songs...

bleeech...ugh...please...no...

(and because of this movie, I've now got a serious bone to pick with Sir Paul as I wasn't aware of the crappy depths his writing could take)

Thirdly, you know when you're watching a tv show, or a movie...usually a comedy...and in it they are using a movie as whatever they need it for in the background? You know when you're meant to overhear whatever movie is playing they make it sound very typical to what ever genre it is supposed to be? Well, let me tell you something, Jack. Everytime that theatre door opens, that's what the movie sounds like. Strings and urgent conversation.

Not a big fan of the Lake House...

As a conversation with a couple went tonight as the late show was clearing out:

"Did you enjoy the film?"

"uh...no...not really"

"yeah...I haven't been tempted in the least. It seems far too sentimental and sappy for my tastes."

"why didn't you tell us this before?"

"I wanted your money before"

3 comments:

boho said...

effin' keanu

Anonymous said...

You are so funny! What a crazy job. Thanks for checking me out! Love your blog. Wicked we can stay in touch this way. I'm going to the knit circle tonight at Make 1. Perhaps see you there?

Himbly said...

Hey hey!

Had to work at the Plaza tonight. Currently recommending Kinky Boots...it's fantastic. I think I'll write a review of it on the blog...before I see the whole thing, of course!

So glad that you came here! I'm totally looking forward to keeping in touch via blogging and email!

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