Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Diary of H (the story of a woman's journey and what she found inside).

You know how stories about a young woman's discovery of herself and her body makes for popular reading? Well, apparently so do stories about older, crabbier women who are trying to discover their bodies...at least the sensitivities that their bodies seem to have gained since they've turned 30. They seem to be my most popular posts.

So, to keep my audience happy, I'll tell you more about my weird physical problems. Bums in seats and all that.

There's actually not much to tell, though I've had weird stomach cramps since I ate some cereal with milk this afternoon.

But I already knew that I was starting to become lactose intollerant. Lactose indignant, Roddy says, and probably he's right.

Again, I had a small reaction to something...sneezing and wheezing. I don't know anymore. I think I'll go to the doctor, but not sure what he/she is going to tell me. I figure it will go something like this:

"Well, you're allergic to something"

"yes. yes indeed."

The rest is kinda hazy, but less eventful than how I imagine the beginning of the conversation will go.

I wish I was one of those people who could do that diet where you eat only rice or something for a week, and then slowly build back up to check what foods might be causing you trouble. But, since the Wildrose Detox diet was out of my league, that would be nearly impossible, I think.

Friday, January 26, 2007

First, wtf? Second, wth?

It happened again.

Another run, another sneezefest, another allergy attack with an A-to-da-muthafukkin'-llergy.

This time: I started wheezing (me: uh...wha?)...then I started sneezing (me: no...holy mothering crap NO!)...then, as soon as we hit warm air (ie. the lab) my eyes started burning and *poof*...swelled up. But, in the corners. Uh, I look like I"m a Romulan in training and will get my notches after I finish my next badge.

Oh...wait...I mean Bajoran. The nose-bridge thing.

(Thanks Joe)

So...I went to the bathroom and sat in a stall thinking, 'how do I get out of this gracefully?' I was thinking that because I was not my usual, chatty, post-run self when I disappeared to the ladies for a minute, so a quick exit would be noticed. I thought, however, I'd try it.

Went back and everyone was gabbing, so no attention was paid...I picked up my stuff..cheerfully said goodbye...started towards the door and stopped and turned to say, 'okay, I don't want to freak you guys out..."

That's soooo me.

I was | | <--- this close to the door and I came clean..."...but check out my eyes."

I took off my glasses and my advisor said, 'holy crap!'

By the end of it, I was making jokes about how with my new eyes must come new superpowers and stuff. Cracked them up. The audience loved me. I was slayin' them in the isles.

But inside...I was the scared mouse. I was the sad clown. I was the coke-addled Robin Williams.

I called C as soon as I left the building and asked him to come get me....hehee...he didn't even really finish the phonecall before he was on the road. Since his work was a fair distance away, I hiked over to the pharmacy and picked up some antihistamines.

If I forget to pack those one more time, I swear!

I waited for him sneezing, coughing and scratching my head, ears, neck and torso (as discretely as one can when one is standing in public with her skin burning). He came, I got in the car, and I nearly burst into tears. Then, I thought about my burning eyes and kept that shit to myself. Why aggravate an already bad situation?

And...here I sit. I'm tired...very tired as my body is starting to come down after waging an unholy war against, well, my body. You see the predicament.

I think I'm gonna crack a strongbow and turn the double dose of antihistamines into a party!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Starbucks wins this time.

about me #1: I have a terrible time with procrastination. See? I'm doing it now.

I've made a pact with myself to try to get mounds of stuff done on the weekends so that my weeks aren't frenzied balls of terror. Weekend #2 of this semester and, admittedly off to a somewhat slow start, I am getting shit done. I can only get so much done in front of the life-giving-box-of-pleasure (my computer, freak) before I start to eye the little icons that would provide me with entertainment (ie. WoW, Safari, iTunes) so I usually pack up my stuff and head to Starbucks for a caffeine buzz and some 'away' time, but in front of strangers so that I can't do things like scratch my bum or find my toenails suddenly interesting.

about me #2: I am an auditory/tactile learner. In fact, I'm very auditory.

Fact #2 about me is something I've come to discover more and more and has led me to several realizations. For instance, if I hear something beyond just general background noise...like if something stands out, I"m sunk when it comes to concentration. There isn't much I can tune out. I think, also, this is why I can't a/ listen to music when I'm reading or thinking and b/ stand most music that's out there.

I've kinda wondered why I"m so stubborn about the music I listen to, because the stuff I love I am passionate about...but there's certainly not much I love. And, I've refused to listen to most recommendations by friends. Now, yes...that's just stubborn and elitist of me, but it might have to do with the fact that there is a (what I believe to be) narrower-than-usual band of music that can act as background noise for me because I'm pretty sensitive to it. If I like it too much or dislike it too much, I can't concentrate on my particular homework task.

Case in point: I'm sitting in Starbucks today and they're playing (like usual) sorta interesting but ultimately boring stuff that is not offensive but not particularly ear-perking. I'm doing fine, getting homework done.

Now...for the linguists out there (say 'hheeeyyyyy-hooooo'...now, just the ladies!): I'm not a syntactician. I am a budding phonologist. Reading a paper about event structure and the status of the object's of transitive verbs is not light reading for me.

They throw on one of those soulful, saccharine solo-act type singer/songwriter guys who sings almost exclusively about his girlfriends and, clearly, they ~looove~ his work because they crank it to 11. I, with the cutest and most apologetic look on my face that I can muster (I've worked in coffeeshops and the like, I know what they say behind your back), ask them to turn it down. They do, like, to 10 and a half. A-holes. Totally thrown me off and I'm more irritated than if Coldplay were to set up and serenade me then and there.

So..I'm home now. People's taste in music sucks.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Thursday, January 11, 2007

I've had some seriously good times...

but nothing in my life has ever looked like this much fun:



In my opinion, one of the best concert films of all time....wwaaaayyyy more fun than The Song Remains The Same:



(okay...this isn't from the film because I couldn't find it, but it does give you the idea that Zep is kinda more fun to listen to than watch.)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

You don't want to read this

Wow.

The human body is amazing, don't you think?

In hindsight, it must've been the Vietnamese sub I ate at school today. Sometimes they slip a bit of the peanut oil into those things. Usually small amounts of nuts don't bother me...I mean, very small. If I hear there's traces, then *shrug*...meh. If something has peanut oil in it...well, historically it's never bothered me (as far as I knew) so I've never asked.

Until today. Today was weird.

Ate lunch (said Viet Sub) and went to my class. Afterwards, went for a run with C and S. Now...I've been eating healthier (not cleanse...could not stand hating my food) since this month began. December was a festival of sugar, dairy, meat, carbs...and little to no exercise; so I've been used to a few digestive quirks lately. During our run, a stomach ache developed but was not unexpected. My body is still working through December, I reasoned.

Boy howdy.

Not sure how I will put the rest of this story, but I will try to be as delicate as possible. I was fine on the C-train home and walked most of the way with little incident...but about 5-6 blocks away my stomach started to churn. By the time I got home I screeched a quick 'Hi!" to the bf and dropped all my bags and coat and stuff in the bathroom with me. Okay, you've got that part, I'm sure...so I'll go on to what else happened. Just keep in mind I was kinda forced to remain "in one spot"...*wink*.

I touched my hands to my eyes and they burned like crazy, like itchy...super itchy. And then with the sneezing...over and over really hard, blow-yer-head-off type sneezing. I was like, 'wtf??' and my face felt like a plastic surgeon had snuck in when I wasn't looking and stuffed my forhead, nose and eyes with cotton. It didn't look as bad as that, but in one of those rare moments when I was able to stand up and move around for a bit...well...once my friend B told me that she was so conjested she could see her sinuses. I think I know what she meant now.

The whole time bf is asking me what he should do and the only think I could think of was 'just check in on me periodically, especially if I get real quiet'. Bless him as he remained with me while we figured out what was wrong with me.

Didn't clue in until...well...I remembered a long time ago having eaten a nut...and a whole lot more nut than I would have today, but I broke out in hives along where my bra covered. My boobies. As I reached to scratch under my arm today...well...then it clicked. Hives on my boobies + wheezing + sneezing + red puffy face + stomach cramps = holy shit! I ate a nut!

Took some antihistamines. Started to feel better. Feel much better now. However, it did make me wonder how tired people get after an exorcism.

coupla things

First, Happy 60th b-day David Bowie. You're great, though I've been saying you look fantastic for 60 about 3 years now.



So, it was a couple of days ago, but thanks for your art, your talent, your ability and your clearmindedness when you championed this young man:



So, I just read this article about how Iggy Pop was not inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Every word this woman says is true. He doesn't belong there. He belongs in the memory of the first time you heard the Stooges and it made you drop everything including to your knees.

I always knew that Iggy was cool...but I didn't understand, I mean REALLY didn't understand until quite a few years ago...in a very different life with very different people...a friend came over with an old vinyl copy of Funhouse. I'd never heard anything like it before and I was stopped in my tracks. I understood then what sort of contribution he made to music history.

************************************

I started thinking while reading that article I linked to just now. Why, then, is it that some bands should stop...just STOP touring and rehashing their old crap while others I would gladly cheer on into their 60s and 70s? Rolling Stones should stop. Loved them...but they should stop. Led Zeppelin, same thing. Please please stop.

What is it about Iggy and Bowie that makes me want to cheer them on until the time comes, IF the time comes, that they should retire? What about Duran Duran...expected crap seeing them in concert, experienced a renewal of my long time teen crush on Simon LeBon. Wtf?

Friday, January 05, 2007

Borat and some rants

Firstly, I am aware the man is a genius. Sacha Baron Cohen, that is.

...and cute, too. *giggle*

So, this is no anti-SBC rant. Nor is an anti-Borat rant...love the Borat.

I went...late...yes yes, I know, I know....to see Borat: Whateverthehellthatlongrestofthetitleis this afternoon. I fully accept the fact that I have just crawled out from under a rock of papers and now stand confused and blinking under the harsh light of the afternoon sun.

Or...you know how in WoW someone hits you in that special way that their class allows and you're dazed? That's how I feel. But sadder. But we'll talk about that later.

Anyway...honestly, and not because my knee-jerk and childish reaction to anything popular is to dislike it. And don't use that admission against me, friends who read this. I am choosy...that's all.

ie. don't make me listen to your/your favourite band.

Borat was funny. But not ~that~ funny. Not like the funny he was on the show.

It could have been that I was in a bad mood and it might have been that I had a headache and it might have been I was harbouring resentment towards 3 kids who couldn't handle 5 customers at the concession I had to go to because Burgerking was closed.

So...I'm watching the show, right? And...some of the people he's exposing as the misogynist/racist/dumbasses they are (and, speaking of "exposing" what about the underside of that big guy's nuts? holy heck!) are funny...very funny in a "laugh at them" and "shocked that they still exist" kinda way. Then....it just got depressing. By the time those 3 potential serial rapist kids picked him up in that camper...well...I started to slip into the "bummed" state.

Reading Bumf's review I certainly understand this way of thinking. I'm bringing up Bumf because I don't have handy/am too lazy to find links to other writers who felt the same way (believe that Hitchens had a point in the same ballpark). Oh..the way of thinking. Basically that we're an empathetic bunch and that while it seems that we have a pile of misogynists and racists on our hands, it's actually the human condition in which people are trying to identify with a very peculiar fellow on his own terms...meeting him far more than half way at times. Yeah. I get that.

Uh..then I watched the movie. I still agree with the above...up to a point. Most people..yeah...just an acceptance of eccentricity. The dinner scene...they were accepting until he got too rude for them to smile and take it. Personally, by the time he handed her a bag of shit. Actually, in a way...isn't it kinda bigoted to think that because a fellow drops into the US from a former Soviet country, that he would shit in a bag and hand it to you and you should treat him like a 3 year old? Oh, crap...did I just get the joke? Well, sometimes the penny drops a little late for me.

Anyway...that aside. They empathized with that mf like crazy. However, the frat boys? This is where I disagree with Bumf and others. Now, I don't know what was done off camera, but neither do you so we'll have to take each other's word for it. Those kid did not look at all baited to me. Before Borat even sat down, that kid screeched a question about the state of the 'bitches' in K. Bitches, hos...blah blah blah...you fuck them and don't call..'because I don't respect them', he says. All that wasn't any more prompted than those people who see I'm white and in an attempt to identify with me by telling a racist joke. Canadians who tell me how much they hate Americans. Skin colour, nationality, or gender...assholes do this all the time. And these kids...yeah, I'm glad they were exposed because you can bet they're not getting laid...but what about the thousands more that just learned to keep their mouths shut more often? That guy at the rodeo was not prompted to say what he did about muslims.

The feminists, though...they rocked. I thought they did a good job and looked pretty dignified. There you really did laugh at Borat and his, 'c'mon, pussycat...smile for me.' The people on the subway...I think that's a pretty natural reaction if you live in a city like NY.

My point being that yeah, you know what? I think there is a whole lot more misogyny and racisim in North America than we typically notice. I think for every one of those frat boys, there's 500 others just like him. And then there's 500 more who would never be bold enough to say it, but practice that bullshit all the time. Look at some of those men's magazines, for christ's sake. Check out Askmen.com.

***********************

I'm nearly at the end of my time off without school. I even tried this week to be social, but find myself all twichy and weird...especially after I am away from the house too long with too much coffee in me. I need to figure out how to get a bit more social time into school next semester, because it's becoming clear to me that social ability is something that does not come naturally to me and needs practice or I become a freaky mess with a longing to a/ go home but b/ attempt to stick around long enough to try to correct the social damage before I do a.

So...time off ended up as angsty as time on. Finding myself with all of a sudden nothing to do kinda turned out how I expected. Firstly, I launch into a rampage of productivity in several areas a/ housework, b/ knitting, c/ cooking. Then, I sit down and play WoW and am super productive there. Then, I feel tired so I take a day to do nothing. That is the key. I then get depressed and bored and all twitchy and then nothing gets done at all for the next few days. Hopefully I snap out of this and get those kitchen cupboards I dumped out back in shape.

Happy new year.
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