oh, happy day

I've done some things and been in some situations I'm not proud of.

A few years ago I was weak. Like, weaker than I've ever been. Some people I knew at the time took huge advantage of this and it took me awhile to sorta recognize them for the crappy human beings they were.

I credit my friends after this danky period and especially C for teaching me that it's okay to have my own idea of right vs wrong and that I can believe my gut when I think people are creeps. And I don't need creeps around me.

I slowly developed a 'shit list' of these remorseless pricks/prickettes and started to really hate them. I mean, really, they're symbols of things I have to forgive myself for, obviously (says my inner Freud), but what's wrong with a little hatred when people deserve it, anyway?

Today, about an hour ago actually, I was in Safeway picking up some stuff for dinner when I ran into one of these drains on human existance that I hadn't seen in years.

I always wondered what I would do/think/feel in these situations...

He recognized me and when I passed him I stopped and turned around to see his smiling, 'hey! I know you!' face. Without thinking about it, I slowly smirked and lifted my hand which had already been formed in 'bird-flipping' pose. Then I walked away.

Okay..okay..not much...but it was enough to make me smile the rest of my shopping trip and when I walked past him again on my way out, I saw his face was red and he was flustered as I giggled and said, 'dork' and marched out of the door.

And the door did open for me, 'cause after that I worried that I'd walk into something...apparently whatever force is out there granted me this opportunity to belittle someone quietly and float away without tripping, stuttering, or falling. And for that, I might even pray tonight.

hahahaha...nah..I won't. But still.