Tuesday, November 02, 2004

red, blue, swing states and headaches

I, like everyone else, have been following this damn election. In fact I'm listening to the results come in as I type this.


I, like everyone else...well, everyone ~I~ know, want Kerry to win. But, we're just gonna have to deal with what we get.

ha..."we"...I'm Canadian and I, like everyone else, know that whoever they pick will affect us, too. I heard a guy on the radio a few weeks ago actually wonder why the whole world feels the need to watch this election so closely. Ha!

But anyway...some thoughts:

Firstly, it must suck to be John Kerry and know that your biggest selling point to Americans and the rest of the world isn't who you are, but who you aren't.

Secondly....have we all been playing bit parts in this over-the-top action film for a very long time, or did it just start recently? We've got all the elements of a blockbuster hollywood film. Here:

- we've got the criminal mastermind who is unwaveringly evil and strikes when and where we least expect it. And he's ~just~ out of our grasp. He taunts us with audio and video tapes, in which he makes little personal "pokes" at our "brave and fearless leader". He's different than us. He wears different clothes and speaks in strange tongues. And... he lives in a cave. Cave = lair. He's for sure got all sorts of evil-doing equipment scattered all over the damn place behind some secret entrance. And, on top of that, he doesn't even worship the right god.

(aside: reading about Bin Laden's tape the other day, I started laughing when I reached the part where he chided W for sitting in that classroom for 7 minutes. I mean...of COURSE he's seen Fahrenheit 911.)

- we've got the "brave and fearless" leader. A bit reckless and cocky (all he needs is a police chief boss yelling that he's a loose cannon)

"You're a loose cannon, Bush! You're off the case!"

(and..as and added bonus, our hero is about as smart as the actors who have traditionally taken that role. But nowhere near as pretty.)

I suppose Kerry fills the role of you're-off-the-case guy. Which brings us to...

- we've got the struggle between the two forces of good about how to fight against the force of evil. I mean...check out the suspense we've gone through since the beginning of the campaign. Will he be allowed to stay on the case and catch the bad guy? Oh god! I hope the well-meaning but inaffective chief doesn't get his way.

- we've got the evil henchman who's laughs through his dying coughs.

"ha *cough cough* ha...I'm not the guy you want. Yes, I tried to kill your father, but I wasn't involved in Bin Laden's schemes. He's escaped your grasp once again. Ha *cough* ha ha uuugggghhhhhhhhhh"

('kay, he's not dead, but he was pretty sick when they found him)

- we've got a cast of thousands....and thousands dead.

all we need is a love interest and I'd SWEAR we're being watched in some intergalactic film festival.

1 comment:

Rjak said...

Brilliant. Absolutely fucking brilliant. Sorry, but you know me :)

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